Funny

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants … 24/7/365. His meals are provided at no cost to him.
 
He visits the doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.
 
He lives in a nice neighborhood … in a house that is much larger than he needs, but He is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
 
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
 
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head! Holy S#!t! … My dog is a Democrat!

I seen this and thought it was good.  For all of you who remember Dragnet and Jack Webb, this will show you Obama getting the law on him... Enjoy...

Obama Get's Schooled

Below are the Top Ten indicators your employer may have changed to Obamacare.

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape
 

What can I say?  This man is a walking talking disaster.  To think the Dems thought Govener Palin was a poor choice for McCaine.  Well for all those people who voted for Obama & Biden, I have to say enjoy.... lol  

"We're going to go bankrupt as a nation," Biden warned at an event in the backyard of the House's No. 2 Republican.

"People, when I say that, look at me and say, 'What are you talking about, Joe? You're telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt?" he said. "The answer is yes. (CNS News)

Priceless!

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: " Barocky Road ."

Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $100.00 per scoop. When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you.

You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.

Are you stimulated?

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!"

anonymous

I received this in an email and thought is was funny.  If you like it let me know, if you're offended, oh well.  Get over it....

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.

 'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.

'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied
'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat, saying
'Well, we're not having any of that brokeback mountain shit in our garden.

Brings a tear to your eye...doesn't it