Jokes

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, "What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!"

anonymous

I received this in an email and thought is was funny.  If you like it let me know, if you're offended, oh well.  Get over it....

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.

 'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.

'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied
'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat, saying
'Well, we're not having any of that brokeback mountain shit in our garden.

Brings a tear to your eye...doesn't it

I received this in an email and thought it was a simple, but interesting comparison of the candidates.  Now I know you may say, "well Hillary is out", but really she is just  circling above.

I received an interesting email that shows 11 Articles listing the Non-Rights for those people who think they have the "Right" to everything.  Check out the US Bill of NON-RIGHTS. 

I received this in an email that was going around.  I'm not sure who authored it, but I thought it was funny.

Four different foreign doctors were setting in the airport discussing their countries health care when;

The Japanese doctor says, "My country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in six weeks. 

A German doctor says, "That is nothing. We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him out looking for work in four weeks."

A British doctor says, "In my country medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have both of them out looking for work in two weeks."

 The American doctor, not to be outdone, interjected, "You guys are way behind. We are about to take a woman without a brain, put her in the White House and then half the country will be out looking for work."